Evander Holyfield: Broke as Joke

The former four time heavyweight champion Evander The Real Deal Holyfield (42-9-2, 27 Ko's) is dead broke.

According to NBC Sports, Holyfield's $10 million estate in suburban Atlanta is under foreclosure, the mothers of his numerous children are suing for unpaid child support, and a Utah consulting company has gone to court claiming that Evander failed to pay back more than a half million dollars for landscaping on that 10 million dollar pad. 

So essentially he was paying someone to maintain his exuberant amount of plants and flowers instead of paying for all the seeds that he personally planted all over the state of Georgia. 

The self-proclaimed, "born-again Christian" has had three different wives (the most recent being a 24 yr. old college student) and 11 children (that we know of), three of which were conceived, by his own admission, with women out of wedlock.  

I think he may have skipped the portion in the Christian handbook that discusses monogamy, but at least we can confirm that he read two chapters - "Procreation - A Guide to Life" and "The Church's View on Contraception" (or listened to the book on tape; none of the evidence suggested so far implies that he is capable of reading).

One would think that the money from the "business savvy" endorsement deals with Sega Genesis (above) in 1992 and the "invention" of the "Real Deal Grill" (or should I say 

fraudulent copy of the greatest invention of all time - The Foreman: see left) could have been put in a savings account since he pulled down a confirmed $35 million for one fight with Mike Tyson. Apparently he didn't use any of that $35 mil to hire a financial planner. 

Since 2002, eight of his last thirteen fights have ended in defeat or draw. It is now apparent that in his comeback he may not have been fighting to regain the heavyweight title, but to replenish his bank account that must have been blown on some serious-ass stuff that we can't even begin to fathom (like Walt Disney's chriogenically frozen body, a diamond encrusted Lite Brite that uses push pins created from rubies, sapphire and jade or a down comforter fabricated from the feathers of 10 baby American Bald Eagles). I think I just fathomed it.